Dear Weather, it's FALL not effin SUMMER!

im like its supposed to be sweater weather not sweat my ass off like summer weather......lmao.

I crack myself up.
ANYWAYS, what's up with the weather lately? Today was hot. I sweated. I'm not suppose to sweat in fall. People were wearing shorts. SHORTS! I'm like it's Oct right? Idk but I think it's hotter in Richmond then Fredericksburg. I think it's because the Sun has a lot of sidewalk/asphalt to soak up. I bet it was somewhat cooler there than here. I want my time of year to be nice like warm but still cool. 70-75 degrees. Not too hot and not too cool. Along with the crisp air...that smell. I love it along with the colors of the trees. Plus, I could wear my sweaters. My cute sweaters. Not bulky stupid jackets, and not too hot where I just wear a tank top or shirt. With sweaters it makes an outfit complete plus I look really cute. ANNNNNNNNNND that's always a plus. Looking cute. :D <3 haha.

At least with these past nights, I can get my kind of weather as long as it doesn't get too cold. I wish the days could feel like these nights. It feels sooooo nice! ugh. Fall needs to be longer. It's the perfect weather and it's not around long :( sad.

disappointment

Seems like I've disappointed a lot of people in my life. Especially recently. I've fucked up pretty bad.

I've disappointed my best friends, my family, band, even my boyfriend.

Seems like the only thing I've been loyal to is Hanson. As sad as that sounds, its true.

I'm kind of surprised that I still have friends and well, I'll just call him boyfriend for this. I still can't believe they want to be around me even though I have disappointed them more than once. I know I'm a good person for the most part, i've done good deeds, went to church, done youth group, helped the community, and all that jazz. But, I know I've done a lot of bad things. I've messed up. I feel guilty about a lot of things but recently I feel like I can't go on much longer. Running on empty. I feel like shit and I can't do anything to fix it but to move on because thats all i can do. Why couldn't I be more honest? Why couldn't I be loyal to anyone thats important to me? Ugh. I guess I just have to learn and move on as hard as it may be. But, I am definitely falling apart.