Seems like I've disappointed a lot of people in my life. Especially recently. I've fucked up pretty bad.
I've disappointed my best friends, my family, band, even my boyfriend.
Seems like the only thing I've been loyal to is Hanson. As sad as that sounds, its true.
I'm kind of surprised that I still have friends and well, I'll just call him boyfriend for this. I still can't believe they want to be around me even though I have disappointed them more than once. I know I'm a good person for the most part, i've done good deeds, went to church, done youth group, helped the community, and all that jazz. But, I know I've done a lot of bad things. I've messed up. I feel guilty about a lot of things but recently I feel like I can't go on much longer. Running on empty. I feel like shit and I can't do anything to fix it but to move on because thats all i can do. Why couldn't I be more honest? Why couldn't I be loyal to anyone thats important to me? Ugh. I guess I just have to learn and move on as hard as it may be. But, I am definitely falling apart.
i don't want you to be falling apart :( i remember when we were outside spirits (or goodwill?) and you were saying that you were surprised that arielle and i still wanna hang out with you, and of course i thought you were joking, so i made a joke about it. pssssht you know we want you around. BFF4LYFE, yo. we all disappoint and get disappointed every now and then. we're still there for each other, though. and i realize you've made some mistakes recently. unfortunately you're feeling the consequences for that, but such is life. you're right. you just gotta live and learn. and we'll be here for you throughout that process as you will be and have been for us. <3
ReplyDeleteMost of us are never "good enough" to be "good" truly. Jesus Christ did that.
ReplyDeleteIt's like that song by Caedmon's Call "I'm so Thankful" that says "I'm incapable, of doing any good on my own." Aren't we all? You aren't alone!